Friendships & Masks

2022 has been a rough year and we’re only three months into it. There have been good parts, but year three of the pandemic and the safety restriction changes have made life a little more complicated. Sage continues to wear his mask throughout the day at school and while I was initially concerned that he … Continue reading Friendships & Masks

Grief Week

Life can change with a breath of air. I know. I’ve had the unforgettable experience of watching it happen. For four days we had to slowly and painfully watch life drain out of our four year old baby girl. That’s how I remember the last few days with my daughter. The nurse quietly explained to … Continue reading Grief Week

RSV

Dear Livy, Having the nightly news give updates on the number of children with RSV has felt personal. Almost violating. Hardly anyone knew what RSV was when you and your brother caught it. When I tried to explain that Epilepsy and RSV can be a fatal cocktail and is why you died, most people look … Continue reading RSV

Time is the enemy

Dear Livy, I'm still here. It's been a season full of emotional ups and downs, but I'm here. December seems to be hardest to get through. It isn't the holidays alone that makes the month so daunting, it's the cold/flu season that runs through our house like ground hogs day combined with me constantly thinking … Continue reading Time is the enemy

Moments of You

Big and little things can hold so much meaning to a grieving mom. Things that no one would understand unless you’ve been here. Happy moments can become sad moments in a blink of an eye.

Rolling On

Dear Olivia, I pushed myself to smile and get through the day. I maneuvered my way through toxic attitudes and nastiness, but made it. I even went to a baseball game. Like most days, I reminded myself that grief is a lonely place and that many around me do not live in this space. Empathy … Continue reading Rolling On

Last Night

Dear Livy, I didn’t realize how much I really missed you, till I held you. I woke up and looked at my phone. It was 1:12am. I fell back to sleep almost immediately and then you were there. Great Aunt D and I were in a living room. Not ours and not one that I … Continue reading Last Night

Silence

Dear Olivia, I am reminded of you through everything I do. Sometimes it’s really hard for me to sit through a presentation or meeting knowing the subject of the meeting would have impacted your quality of life. A career in disability rights isn’t always easy. Our family lives, breaths and believes in everything that we … Continue reading Silence