Dear Livy, I didn’t realize how much I really missed you, till I held you. I woke up and looked at my phone. It was 1:12am. I fell back to sleep almost immediately and then you were there. Great Aunt D and I were in a living room. Not ours and not one that I … Continue reading Last Night
Dear Olivia, I am reminded of you through everything I do. Sometimes it’s really hard for me to sit through a presentation or meeting knowing the subject of the meeting would have impacted your quality of life. A career in disability rights isn’t always easy. Our family lives, breaths and believes in everything that we … Continue reading Silence
Dear Livy, I’m sitting somewhere between how did I get here and where do I go next. I’ve come to know this place as part of my life. It’s what I refer to as my healing journey. It keeps me waking up and moving forward....sometimes. If there is one thing grief has taught me, it … Continue reading Letters of Healing
Dear Livy, I wish you were here, but maybe you are here. I'm pretty sure it was you that turned the patio strand of lights on...not once, not twice, but three times! Who else would turn the lights on at 6am from the backyard while your daddy and I sat at the kitchen table drinking … Continue reading Our first year apart
Dear Livy, Some say that the first year is the hardest. Others say the second year is harder because friends and family forget and stop checking in to asking how you’re doing. I can’t imagine the pain being any worse than it already is and I also can’t picture those who have been by my … Continue reading Still Leading On
Dear Olivia,There are many things that we see in life through our own individualized tunnel vision. We don't always realize how or when we may find ourselves looking at that space or point in time again, but from a different angel of the tunnel. I found myself in that place today. That window on the … Continue reading Top Left Corner
Olivia Donna Gelardin was exquisite. At almost 5 years old, Livy, as we called her, was delighted to watch sunlight reflect off the window, feel the sand run through her fingers in her garden, splash soapy water in the bath tub with her brother. She was our first, our dream-come-true baby, our patient teacher. Livy … Continue reading My Husband, Eli’s Post…(w/special thanks to Yomi Wrong for her edits)
Dear Livy, I dropped by your school this week. Schools out for summer, but I heard that your tree was planted. It's beautiful. The Autumn Maple is perfect for the preschool playground. It's not very big, but years from now other children, including your brother, will benefits from the shade it brings. I call it … Continue reading June 30: Half a Year
Dear Olivia, Your brother and I have a nightly ritual. Before we go to bed we give your urn a kiss and tell you how much we miss you. Lately, your brother has also been adding, "I hope she comes out of that box soon. I really miss her." I've been trying to imagine what … Continue reading Doing The Right Thing
Dear Livy, It's been a day...and it's not even close to over. Sage's first IEP meeting is this afternoon. It's been difficult to focus on all the moving pieces, yet there are a lot less parts compared to what went into your first meeting. You and your brother are both unique, but in very different … Continue reading Reminding Myself
