Dear Olivia,

I couldn’t write you last night, I was too emotionally exhausted from your service. It was beautiful…everything I wished it could be and would represent you. The location, the love and the people who came from all over made it all about you. The Ed Roberts Campus is the same place we held your baby shower. Your first celebration. The most amazing disability inclusive building that represents everything we value and instilled in you as our disabled and proud girl.

Everyone who spoke put their entire heart into what they shared about you. Every word was beautiful, just like you. It’s amazing that in just four years you touched an unbelievable amount of people in this world. You are loved. 

So many people came. Over two hundred and fifty…there weren’t enough chairs and yet we had many chair users who brought their own and there still wasn’t enough.  Family members flew in from North Carolina, Florida, southern California and many drove to be there from all over. Some people that came were friends mommy had only known of online through social media. They came because they wanted us to know how much they loved you and all the things I’ve ever shared about your life with them through Facebook and Instagram.  Many of our online friends were the people I turned to for parent support and ideas. They were the ones who shared their experiences and parenting words of wisdom with me and made me a better parent for you. Had it not been for you, mommy would have never known or reached out to these people who I now consider our dear friends. 

Everything about your celebration was magical. Auntie Helena, Aunt Ari and everyone else who worked on it made it absolutely perfect. There were ASL Interpreters, delicious food, desserts made by attendees, hundreds of pictures of you on display, songs, poems, some of your scrapbooks, your favorite reading books and more love than I could have ever imagined in one place at one time. It was also recorded and someday when I’m strong enough I’ll watch it. I might even share in on our YouTube channel for others who couldn’t make it to watch. 

As beautiful as it was I wish that it could of helped me feel better. I miss you and everything about your celebration was hard. I know that’s horrible to say, but it is what it is. You’re not with me and that’s all I can think about. 

Always,

Momma