Dear Livy, I've been mentally preparing myself to take your brother to "Bone Juice" infusions without you. My hope is that our usually nurses and hospital volunteers in the play area will know and won't have to ask me where you are. I haven't been able to even  go to the grocery store because I know … Continue reading I Need A Break

Dear Livy, The best place to cry is in the shower. It's private, you don't need tissues and you can just let it out without anyone knowing.  When they told us your brain was no longer functioning and that the seizure you were having not only never stopped, but also took over other areas of … Continue reading Leaving Your Mark

Dear Olivia, We should have been attending your annual IEP meeting today. We've been preparing for it for months and it was going to be your first time attending. I figured it was time to start engaging you in the process. Even if it was just to listen. I had your "Family Report" all ready … Continue reading Peas & Carrots

Dear Livy, I felt okay today. I went to Michael's this morning and bought some permanent black markers. I find that if I work on a project that makes me think happy thoughts about you it helps me get through the day.  Remember all the rocks we bought and had people decorate for you at … Continue reading Happy Thoughts

Dear Olivia, Everyone's gone home and as I imagined, it's been another one of those incredibly long rough days.  One of daddy's friends from Rotary, Jan, sent us a bereavement book. Jan lost her son over 30 years ago and she said the book she mailed us is one of the only ones that made … Continue reading Planning Ahead Sucks

Dear Olivia, The feeling of emptiness I have is overwhelming. It's hallow, dark and cold. The endless rain we've had is making me more and more depressed.  Uncle Chaddy, Aunt Alyssa, Aria and GG are leaving tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to a quiet house.  When I was a little girl I hated being alone. … Continue reading Quiet House

Dear Livy, You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing that comes to mind when I lay my head down. Sleeping is here and there. Your pink blanket doesn't help.  You're on my mind throughout the day and I think that's the way I want it.  I left the … Continue reading Day By Day

Dear Olivia, I'm lonely. I want to get up and make your breakfast, prepare your meds, pack your lunch and send you off to school with a kiss.I want to do what I always do. I want to see your face light up and your arms jump as I open your bedroom door and say, … Continue reading Everything Hurts

Dear Olivia, I couldn't write you last night, I was too emotionally exhausted from your service. It was beautiful...everything I wished it could be and would represent you. The location, the love and the people who came from all over made it all about you. The Ed Roberts Campus is the same place we held your … Continue reading Celebration of Life

Dear Olivia, The three hundred rock brackets and hand stamped envelopes are done. I've moved onto making an Olivia photo board timeline. I printed over 800 photos and plan to display at least 500 of them at the service. Your dad and I spent four hours  printing pictures of you, our family, friends with you and your … Continue reading Everyone Loves Livy