Life can change with a breath of air. I know. I’ve had the unforgettable experience of watching it happen. For four days we had to slowly and painfully watch life drain out of our four year old baby girl. That’s how I remember the last few days with my daughter. The nurse quietly explained to … Continue reading Grief Week
I often blog about how grief has impacted my life and for real, it helps my mental health. Today I’m blogging for my MH and my baby girls birthday. You were 35 days away from turning 5 years old when you left this earth and today you would be 8 and in the 2nd grade. … Continue reading Eight years with & without Livy
Dear Olivia,There are many things that we see in life through our own individualized tunnel vision. We don't always realize how or when we may find ourselves looking at that space or point in time again, but from a different angel of the tunnel. I found myself in that place today. That window on the … Continue reading Top Left Corner
Dear Livy, It's been a day...and it's not even close to over. Sage's first IEP meeting is this afternoon. It's been difficult to focus on all the moving pieces, yet there are a lot less parts compared to what went into your first meeting. You and your brother are both unique, but in very different … Continue reading Reminding Myself
Dear Olivia, The end of the school year is approaching and your friends are getting ready to transition to kindergarten. I feel like I'm approaching the true goodbye time to your school team. It's been nice having your classroom things intact. It's made us all feel like part of you is still with the class. … Continue reading Bye, Bye Preschool
Dear Livy, May 13, 2012 was one of the happiest most treasured days of my life. It was my first Mother's Day and you made it possible. I was 34 years old and felt like the luckiest mom on the planet. I celebrated my day with you, Daddy, Great Uncle Ed and Uncle Chaddy. It … Continue reading Always Your Momma
Dear Olivia, A friend of mine told me that I should write the letters I want to write and say what I need to say. That I should get it out of my system, all of it! Then rip it up and throw it away. I did it and I didn't think it would make … Continue reading Letters To Nowhere
Dear Olivia, As I rolled through the front door this evening I had this out of the blue urge to hug you. I looked at your picture on the table, took in a deep breath, held it and then bottled it up long enough to get settled in. I came home and imagined you'd be … Continue reading A Simple Hug
Dear Livy, After shock comes numbness. I know this because it's where I'm at. I care, but I don't care. I just feel like I'm going through the motions that are expected of me. Vacation is what I expected...different. There's no structure. I miss that. Hardly anything we do anymore is based on your schedule. … Continue reading More of the Same
Dear Olivia, I've experienced many things in life. Yet there has been nothing more life changing than losing you. I'm sure this is true for most parents who have experienced the loss of a child. I know I'm not alone, but it feels very lonely where I'm at. I don't want to be so depressed, … Continue reading Stuck in a Hump
Dear Livy 